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If anyone knows how to get the Eye In the Sky by Allan Parsons Project out of your head, please forward that information promptly.

- Thanks

Kevin Garnett!!

My initial reaction when I heard the rumor of Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, and about 3 other Celtics and draft picks for Kevin Garnett was:

Welcome to our world Danny. It's like someone smacked him in the head with a steel chair, and all of a sudden he came to his senses. Clearly, he picked up the phone and called his good buddy Kevin McHale, who apparently runs the Minnesota Timberwolves. I say "apparently" because I'm quite sure he's still on the Celtic payroll.

So, I imagine this conversation went something like this:

DA: Kevin...it's Danny. How are you?
KM: Hey buddy! Good, about to play 18. What's up?
DA: Not much Kev. But I was thinking....
KM: (interrupting) You were thinking? Ha! That's a good one! (Hysterical laughter)
DA: Oh very funny, Kevin. Very funny (chuckling)
KM: Sorry Danny. Anyway, what can I do you for?
DA: I want Garnett. I want him now. What will it take? I'll trade you the Celtics minus Pierce and Allen. You can have them all.
KM: All of them?
DA: All of them.
KM: All?
DA: Yes. All.
KM: Can I have draft picks too?
DA: Sure, as many as you want. You can have those, too. If you do this deal, there is a 50% chance, me and Doc are suiting up to fill out the rest of the starting lineup, but I like our chances.
KM: I'll call you back, but I like it!

...more JD

Did anyone enjoy watching JD Drew pinch hit yesterday just so he could strike out. I am actually happy about it. I figure, Douggie Mirabelli is a good guy. Why add +1 to his SO totals when you could add +1 to JD Drew's, who no one likes. Plus the stat gives people move fuel for arguing that he sucks. Solid work, Tito.

Does anyone have the statistics on replica jerseys (or those t-shirts with names & numbers on the back) sold per Red Sox Player? What would you do if you saw someone wearing a #7 Drew jersey?

Cal

Dear Bryan,
Cal Ripken is in the Hall of Fame.
Your Pal,
Erik

I'll one up you

http://youtube.com/watch?v=O_mWu9P0daY

Scott might like this...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=QBEm-3jnnXE&mode=related&search=

Best NFL Player No One Knows

Mike Wright!!!

Well, Pats fans know him, but no one else does. The guy is solid and is gonna be big this year. He is a hybrid player - NT, DT, DE. Whatever is needed, he'll line up there and stick to his assignment. An opening was created with the tragic death of Marquise Hill. Although sad, there will not be any on-field drop off because Mike Wright will be a monster and play well in the Belichick schemes.

7 Days Until.....

The Trading Deadline comes and goes....

Do the Sox:

a) Trade the farm for a #5 hitter or ace (neither of which seem to be available). Short answer to that - no. There is no one, outside of Mark Teixeira that seems worth trading any of the Sox blue chip prospects (Ellsbury, Buchholz, Lester).

b) Look for an additional bullpen arm. Short answer to that. - probably. Bullpen help comes cheap and won't cost much, and let's face it. You can never have enough capable arms.

c) Minor move for a 4th outfielder type - maybe. I see Jacoby Ellsbury playing the "Dave ROberts 2004" role as the pinch running, defensive replacement in the postseason. That's what this team actually needs. Everyone seems to be on the same page on this one. Wily Mo Pena does not fit on this team. He's a big bat who can't hit, field or run. I expect his days are numbered.

The only major league ready, cost effective chips that the Sox have are Coco Crisp and Wily Mo. Crisp, in my opinion, has too much value for the 2007 squad. His defense can't be talked about enough. I see him and his value continuing to go increase, and being moved in the offseason to make room for Jacoby Ellsbury in 2008. But, if they want to win this season, I think Coco in center and Jacoby getting the call up prior to September 1, makes the most sense.
-sc

Again, take a look at Jimmy Clausen



But Jimmy won't be the first gay Notre Dame QB.

Brady Quinn



Joe Montana

Things You Need to Know, Pt 1

Not sure if this is public knowledge, but the Illinois Quarterback is named Juice Williams. How amazing is that?!?!? According to Timmy O (#1 Ranked Human Being on the Planet), he went to the same HS at Dick Butkis, Juwan Howard, and Chris Zorich.



And when you come to think of it, wouldn't you feel 100 times better about yourself rooting for Juice Williams over a dbag like Jimmy Clausen




4 Tommy Points awarded to the Illini on this one.

4 years of hard work

Click on the picture for the blow up. Did i double count any?

Someone loan me $135

If I wore these in College Park, would I last 2 minutes?

Hey Joe Buck

What I like about this drawing is that you can visualize the shoulders in that shaking motion.

Menace II Society

Menace II Society: Brenda Vick.

Guilty of being unfit to raise children.

Asante Samuel L Jacksonville Jaguar X-Type A Personality

The weird thing about the Asante Samuel situation is that the fans don’t seem to be getting emotionally involved in either side. At least that is my observation. We all want Asante to play for us, no one is telling him good riddance, but we also understand that the offer NE comes up with should be (and probably is) fair to him while still being smart for the team. That is what being an NFL fan has become. You invest more emotion into your team than any other sport, but you can’t get too attached to any individual player because the risk of injury is so high and the approach to the salary cap is so important. It literally takes 45 players to be successful. Of course, it would be easy to say, “Look at David Givens, Joe Andruzzi, Damien Woody.” I won’t even take that vengeful route. I won't preach that A.S. should suck it up and be thankful to play here. We really want it to work out for a deal, and Asante isn’t necessarily being the bad guy here, but if he doesn’t show up I think everyone will be fully prepared for life without him. And I can’t decide if I’d blame either side, just disappointed.

I’m curious what people think:

1. A cornerback from Central Florida who’s been the benefit of a strong defensive system that puts him in position to success doesn’t’ deserve to be paid like an MVP by a "smart" team that balances salary among all positions
2. The Patriots should reward Samuel’s previously strong play and secure the future at the cornerback position by opening their wallet
3. They should accept each other's position and part their ways so he can play for the Jets or some other d-bag team.
   

J.D. "The Ironman" Drew

Have you ever seen a guy care less about what people say about him than J.D. Drew? What were the knocks on him when he signed with Boston? Let's count them down:
1. He's injury prone. He has never played more than 146 games, and since 1999 averages 118 games played per year. That means he misses more than one of every four.
2. He doesn't drive in runs. J.D. Drew's career high in RBI is 100, and from 1999 to 2006 averaged 62 RBI per season. 62. Six. Two.
3. He doesn't hit for that high an average. As we all know, batting average doesn't tell the whole story. We care about on base percentage, and god dammit we want our #5 hitter drawing walks with runners in scoring position.

The next time this guy hustles for a double and does not pull a muscle will be the first. It's unbelievable. I've never seen a guy care less about his image. One of the worst things someone can say about a professional athlete is that you don't care about your job. That was the main criticism of Drew coming into Boston. He doesn't care.

3 months in, and all I see now is a guy who couldn't get it done in the #5 spot in the batting order, and is now a $14 million a year leadoff hitter (when he plays). Great. He draws walks. Terrific. Pay the guy $14 million a year to see pitches.

This was a bad signing in the off season, and it's even worse now. We're stuck with him.

Here are the stats courtesy of Baseball Reference. I'm not sure what the ad wizards in Theo's war room were analyzing.
-sc


http://www.baseball-reference.com/d/drewj.01.shtml

The Streak is Over

It didn't quite reach Boston Celtics level of losing, but I had gone a long time without winning anything. My basketball team is 0-5. My softball team is doing ok but we had lost the last two I played and there's been rainouts and 4th of July holidays with no game. We got swept in the BC/Holy Cross annual softball game in Needham. Scott beat me in tennis 6-1, 6-1.

Tonight, I finally got off the schnide. We won in softball 31-4 (in only 6 innings). This is the team that beat us despite us being up 8 runs going in to the last inning. A little redemption was nice. Lets see if I can parlay that into win #1 in basketball on Thursday.

Also the team we played was Wolf Greenfield. I think that is some type of jewish animal, like Maury the Monkey, Saul the Salamander, and Raccoon Rosenthal.

D.D.V.

DON'T DOG VALPO (Scott)

Was This Guy Amazing or What?

One of Maryland's all time most underrated players. Laron Profit used to make the student section fall all over each other once a game, at minimum.

According to this blog I found, he's dominating in Puerto Rico these days. Oh Puerto Rico....HO!!!!!!!!
http://mdturtle.blogspot.com/2007/05/laron-profit-in-puerto-rico.html

-sc

If anyone likes the drums, the band Rush, or cool video clips, checkout this oldie but goodie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHYt0BqSwno

Every little detail is animated perfectly. Even little fills. The stripe in his pants moving on bass drum beats. Crazy. Thist must have taken forever by some Canadian Computer Geek. Much obliged for the effort.

This is a video of Izzy (maybe) doing the same song on Guitar Hero expert

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua3hZXfNZOE

Green Head

So, Vinny Testarverde is officially coming back with New England this season. 21 years in the NFL. The amazing thing is I don't remember him ever being dominant. He was big name coming out of The U, played in obscurity (Tampa, Cleveland), threw some INT's. I mean, how did it happen? Better players like Montana & Elway don't come close to that staying power. Good luck with health? Snaps towels in the lockerroom showers? Maybe people just like Italians.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekend!

I don't have much to add. I live for weekends.
Oh...and how about that Gary Sheffield huh? Goes and says the Yankees were racist and treated blacks differently, and then follows that up with a grand salami. Now that's a guy who don't give a shit. He's going to get some sort of BBBQ award at some point. When we have awards, of course.
-sc

Thinking about the upcoming 13-17 season....

Amazing Al can't recruit higher rated players. What recruit can say no to this? Who would you rather play for, a whiny rat like Coach Kay, an old fart like Roy Williams, or this man?

That's for bombing Pearl Harbor!

We did it! We beat Germany 33-7 in the World Cup. The World Cup of American Football.

Yes, this is an actual event and its happening now. According to John 'Bluto' Blutarsky the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, so this is payback. And in case Dick Collins or the Iron Curtain, both history department legends in the Andover HS History Dept, disagree with Bluto, then we face Japan in the finals. Getting redemption one way or another.

I'll give a dollar to anyone who can figure out a TV network to watch it on.

Oh, and the highlight of this whole thing is that John Mackovic is the head coach.

http://wc2007.info/index_e.html

Hi Everybody!!!!

There's a New Sheriff in Town

Okay, so the blog is kicking off a little slower than we would have liked. And the reason can be found in this conversation:
Rivers: I should have realized that I study every night for this huge exam I have to take in November before I signed up for this gig.
me: Uh.... your test doesn't stop you from sending me 73 emails during the course of the day (good point by me).
Rivers: Yes, but that doesn't take any thought and I don't need to be creative or spell things correctly (touche. good point by Rivers. Tie game.)
me: Oh...okay (clearly, staggering). Hmmm...
(end of conversation)

So, what do I do in a crisis? I turn to the most creative guy I know not named Rivers. He has knowledge in the following categories: Sports (particularly college - I see him as the Lee Corso of The BBBQ), Food (knows all the good roast beef joints in New England), Music/Entertainment, and basically everything else. He is a former New England 300 meter hurdles champion. He is a former Run n Gun Silver Division MVP. He knows a lot about horse racing and knows a lot about shooting dice. I present to you, the third member of our team: Erik. Or he might go by another name. I'm not sure yet. First, I have to let him know that we need him to help us.
-sc

Drink much?

I think this might qualify for NP of the Week? Or are we not doing that? Does this fool like to get his drink on or what? Henry Earl has 946 arrests to his name as of June 28, 2007.

I found this page where you can analyze a bunch of his mugshots. I am a fan of #9, 17, 23, and 31. But apparently there is all kinds of crap about him online. This page pretty much sums it up. Safe to say Ron has a lot of work to do catch this guy. If you analyze his rap sheet, he basically gets arrested 2 to 3 times a month for intoxication....for the past 15 years. Is he causing that much of a ruckus every time? Don't they get sick of arresting him? Stay in your house and get closed?

Don't you hate pants!

Yes, I was drinking gasoline, MOTHER!!

It this episode the greatest episode in television history? I tend to think it is, but I have different standards than most. A close second might be when the Isotopes won it all, and Homer, Lenny, Carl and Barney went on a huge bender and ended up in the school locker room shower singing We Are the Champions. In fact, that night kind of reminds me of the time that me, Rivers and Higgins drank until 5am, drove to IHOP, ate pancakes and spilled orange juice all over the place, and then ended up driving in circles (Rivers) around this neighborhood at 6:30am blaring reggae and trying to wake up this douche bag Arab guy we knew. He wasn't a douche bag because he was Arab, just more because he kind of sucked as a person. So that was enjoyable.

By the way, you might as well stare at a blank wall tonight, because there isn't anything to watch. If I didn't hate gambling so much (LOL), I would suggest googling which way the wind is blowing in San Francisco tonight and gambling on the home run derby.

Here are the odds, courtesy of Bodog:
Prince 3/1
Ryan Howard 5/2 (dude's not even in the All-Star game...what is this, Craig Hodges and the 3 point shootout? God, baseball is asinine sometimes)
Justin Morneau 4/1
Vlady 6/1
Magglio 11/1
Pujols 7/2
Rios 12/1
Holliday 9/1

Of that list, Prince does seem like the guy best suited for the home run derby. He's got that massive upper cut swing. I guess that's why he's sitting at 3/1. Put me in for a fake bet on Prince. Unfortunately, the only other person who has read this blog likes Prince tonight, too, so there won't be anything to discuss further on this subject...

Also, in fake sports news, I read the Tour de France started in England the other day. Weird. I can't figure it out. You tell me. Can you bike from England to France? I'm not understanding that.
-SC

Let's Just Get it Out There....

Let's face it. Things are really going to heat up on this blog in August. Rivers, my partner in crime, has nothing relevant to talk about during the Summer concerning his local teams. He's got the Nationals, and while I own their hat and have adopted them as my #2 team, we all know they are just wasting time until their stadium is built and they can spend some real money.

However, once August hits, we've got football. Lots and lots of football. You will read A LOT of Redskins talk on this blog. To balance that out, you will read A LOT of Patriots talk on this blog.

With that said, let's get some pre-pre-season football BS out there:
Pats are 8/5 to win the Super Bowl. Put the mortgage on it.
Skins are 39/1.
The rest of the pretenders are found here. Discuss amongst yourselves:
http://www.bodog.com/sports-betting/football-futures.jsp

-Scott

this is a test image.

-rivers

Who I hate:

Roger Clemens - for reasons that will take far too long to explain. Stay tuned until we get this BLOG up, and you'll find out why, as well as a million other things on our mind.
- Scott
p.s. - the other poster is Rivers
p.p.s - he's funnier than me.